<strike> Brain-washing </strike> Induction Course for Malaysian House-officers.

Apparently, now that I have been appointed a house-officer, I have also become a government servant. I know, stating the obvious here. However, what I DIDN’T know, was that as a government servant, I am not allowed to oppose anything the government does. Or, as the representative from the Biro Tatanegara put it during the induction course:

“Mahu tak mahu, kamu perlu menyokong dasar-dasar kerajaan.”
(“Like it or not, you have to support government policies.”)

Seriously, I don’t have a choice in this matter. There is an actual rule in the Peraturan-peraturan Pegawai Am (Kelakuan & Tatatertib) 1993 that says:

“Seseorang pegawai hendaklah pada setiap masa memberi taat kepada Yang diPertuan Agong & kerajaan.”
(“A government officer has to give his/her loyalty to the YdP Agong & the government at all times.”)

Guess it was a good thing that this 6-day course is compulsory for all house-officers: Here, I’d been thinking, now that I have dispensed with JPA-sponsored tuition, I am free to blog about anything I want. If it weren’t for this induction course, I wouldn’t have known that as a government servant, if I “memburuk” (speak badly of) or “memperkecil” (demean) our “kerajaan”, I could be liable for disciplinary action, which can range from a warning, suspension of any consideration for promotion, demotion, pay-freeze, to even expulsion.

So, 5 years since the start of this blog, and I’m still not free to blog about everything. Not if I want to practise as a doctor in Malaysia. And if anything, I stand to lose more now than I did before.

And so, even when the presenter, in a righteous rant, brought on by, I don’t know, our lack of fervour for the government, bellowed:

” Kalau kamu tak setuju, keluar sahaja. Tak perlu duduk kursus, tak perlu berkhidmat.”
(“If you don’t agree, just get out. No need to attend the course, no need to serve.”)

I forced myself to stay in my seat. It took everything in my power to remain seated throughout the day, as he proceeded to inform us that the Malays were originally here before the British, and that Chinese & Indians came to Tanah Melayu only because the British & the Sultans imported them. After this riveting history lesson, he concludes with a triumphant:

“Bolehkah kita bersatu? Boleh! Kita ada 3 kaum, yang menjadi parti politik: UMNO, MCA dan MIC. Memang ada sifat perkauman, tapi ada tolerance. Tak ada masalah. Cina boleh jadi jutawan. India boleh jadi jutawan. Tak ada masalah. Cina boleh buat tokong. India boleh buat kuil. Tak menjadi masalah.”
(“Can we be united? Yes! We have 3 races, which have become 3 political parties: UMNO, MCA and MIC. There is some racism, but there is tolerance. No problem. Chinese can become millionaires. Indians can become millionaires. No problem. Chinese can built temples. Indians can build temples. No problem.”)

At that point, I contemplated beginning a formal psychiatric assessment, namely, assessing hallucinations. I mean, “India boleh buat kuil, tak menjadi masalah”?? Which planet had this guy been on?? You can’t even excuse yourself by saying that you haven’t been in Malaysia, or keeping up with Malaysian news since this story ran even on the BBC & other international media.

Anyway, he carries on explaining with this delightful example:

“Saya ada seorang kawan. Dia kacukan, Cina dan India. Nak masuk MCA tak boleh, nak masuk MIC tak boleh, habis, parti mana dia nak join?”
(“I have a friend. He is of mixed parentage, Chinese and Indian. He can’t join MCA, and can’t join MIC. What party can he join?”)

At this point, I couldn’t take it & I muttered – albeit, loudly enough for half the hall to hear – “Keadilan.”

He was taken aback at this point & replied, “Saya tahu, nampak macam ada unsur-unsur perkauman. Ya, tapi, sebenarnya tidak.”
(“I know, it looks as though there is racism. Yes, but actually no.”)

??

He quickly recovers with, “Kalau tak suka, boleh buat parti sendiri.”
(“If you don’t like, you can create your own party.”)

Not a bad idea, only that as a government servant, specifically, as a government doctor, I am not allowed to take part in politics. A point that was driven home when we were all divided into groups and made to present certain scenarios. Surprise, surprise, one of the scenarios was related to Peraturan-peraturan Pegawai Am (Kelakuan dan Tatatertib) 1993 Peraturan 21 (1), the one that explicitly details the extent of the non-involvement of a government doctor in politics.

Don’t get the Biro Tatanegara wrong; apparently, according to them, you are allowed to vote for whichever party you want. It’s just obligatory for you to “sokong dasar-dasar kerajaan. “

It could just be me, but it smells as though my employer, ie. the government, is trying to suppress all independent thought. It could be just me, of course. I personally think they might as well have taken our ballot-sheets outright & drawn the pangkah in the box of their choice. You’re already telling us who to vote for, anyway. Why bother with being subtle about it?

All of you who are privately-employed, rejoice. At least you didn’t have to check your minds at the doors of place of your employment the way I have had to. Because you see, again, the same representative from the Biro Tatanegara said:

“Kerana kamu memilih untuk bekerja untuk kerajaan, kamu tidak pilih untuk bekerja untuk pihak swasta, kamu perlu menyokong dasar-dasar kerajaan.”
(“Because you chose to work for the government, you didn’t choose to work for a private company, you have to support government policies.”)

Never mind the fact we didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter.

“Kalau kamu tak menyokong dasar kerajaan, maksudnya kamu tak ikhlas bekerja untuk masyarakat dan kerajaan. Tuhan akan balas! Tengok, gempa bumi di Indonesia, ribut taufan di Filipina, beratus-ratus yang mati, mungkin ada kesilapan manusia.”
(“If you don’t support government policies, it means you are not sincere in serving the people and the government. God will punish you! Look, hundreds died in the earthquake in Indonesia and in the typhoon in the Philippines. Maybe there was a human mistake.”)

Great, so not only will my not supporting government policies affect me adversely, I could also potentially bring God’s wrath on Malaysia. What kind of twisted patriotism, no, what kind of twisted religious teaching is that??

That wasn’t the only bit of religious teaching that we were treated to this week. We also had a lady from MACC – yes, that is the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission – who spouted quite a bit of religious platitudes during her talk, “not that she was trying to convert us,” mind you. She said.

Why was a lady from MACC there? Oh, yes, to give us a talk on “Corruption and Integrity.”

I’ll pause here to give you all time to laugh.

I wrote in the induction course feedback form, “Saya berpendapat seseorang wakil dari MACC tidak layak dijemput memberi ceramah tentang rasuah dan integriti sedangkan jabatan mereka tengah disiasat untuk kematian seseorang pelanggan dalam kustodi mereka.”
(“I don’t think an MACC representative is the ideal person to give a talk on corruption and integrity when their department is being investigated for the death of a client in their custody.”)

I had a lot of practice in suspending my disbelief during over these 6-days, more so than during G.I. Joe. After all, I have had to practise keeping a straight face as the same representative from the Biro Tatanegara assured us that:

“Singapura tu marah, sebab negara mereka kecil, sebab airport kita besar, highway kita banyak. Mungkin satu hari mereka kalah dengan Malaysia juga. Malaysia akan ada ilmu pengetahuan tinggi, modal insan tinggi. Sebenarnya, kalau negara kita nak lawan dengan negara lain, senang saja. Di Germany, mana ada budak Form 5 pakai kereta pergi sekolah? Pakai kereta negara.”
(“Singapore is angry, because their country is small, because we have a big airport, because we have many highways. Maybe one day they will lose to Malaysia. Malaysia will have high-quality education, and excellent human resource. Actually, if our country wants to compete with other countries, we can do so easily. In Germany, where do you see Form 5 schoolchildren going to school in a car? Using the national car.”)

At this point, I could feel the vein pounding in my temples as I forced myself to stop dwelling on the sheer absurdity of comparing the GERMAN national car and the MALAYSIAN national car.

1 more day, and 10 more years of this brain-washing to endure. I wonder what will become of this blog, my career, and my sanity.

[Edit: Apologies for the earlier lack of translations. Was rushing off so I wouldn't be late for the night-talks. Oh, joy.]

Tags: Induction