Get off your sanctimonious high-horse, Marina.

“But when you worry about the Americans who may lose their homes because they cannot service their bank loans and are unable to pay their medical bills because their insurance cannot cover them, spare a thought for the people in Gaza who don’t have to worry about housing loans because their homes have been reduced to rubble.

Or the ones who will have pay funeral expenses rather than hospital bills.

When you worry about the state of education in America, think about children whose schools Israeli bombs have destroyed and whose futures are now bleak because they will not get any education.

When you deal with the security of Americans, consider those who have to protect themselves not from muggers or robbers but from bombs raining down on them, and white phosphorus burning their skin.

As you try and deal with your crowded cities and poor housing, as you described in your book Dreams From My Father, take a look at a map and consider the 1.5 million people squeezed into that 10km by 40km patch of land known as the Gaza Strip. Is that humane?

Who am I, Mr Obama, but only one of the millions of people who are well aware of what is right and wrong, what is just and what is not.

If you claim to change the way things have been done all this while, then you have to re-look at some of America’s policies that have been wrong and unjust, especially the ones that have allowed millions of defenceless people to undergo abo- minable suffering just because they want to live in their own land.

Can we have the audacity to hope for that?”

- Marina Mahathir.

Honestly, am I the only person who finds this attempt at sentiment & sympathy lame, and unreasonable?

You stated quite early on in the article that you didn’t vote for him. And now, YOU have the audacity to make claims on him? No, excuse me, in your words, have “audacity to hope” for a president supportive of YOUR agenda?

Be grateful, that America has an open-minded intellectual as a president, one who realises that Muslims are not to blame for terrorist acts, which obvious as it may be, is actually something quite difficult to wrap your head around if one has not had experience of the Muslim religion & culture. And a president, who has subsequently acknowledged, AND reached out to Muslims during his INAUGURATION speech.

I find it such BS that on his first day as president, you would have him abandon his plans to restore housing & schooling in his own country, and dive head-first into the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

I respect all the work you have done with AIDS, etc. and I acknowledge that in many ways, you have put your work where your mouth is, but I must say, this attempt to draw similes between what is happening in the States & in Gaza to influence Obama’s foreign policy, of which we don’t know ANYTHING yet & he has yet to ACT on, is a pathetic and ridiculous piece of writing that I would not have expected from you.

[Updated] Good luck, London!

When I watched the $100 million show that was the Beijing 2008 opening ceremony yesterday, my first reaction was:

GOOD LUCK, LONDON! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That’s $100 million with China manufacturing its OWN fireworks, yo! Can you imagine the price the London 2012 committee would have to pay for the same 35 000 fireworks?

“Everything you make must go for the good of the People’s Republic of China!”

Horrible stereotype, I know, but I think I can safely say that England, as a country, is a tad less, how shall we say, uptight, compared to China in its dealings with its citizens.

After all, is there any other country anal enough – apart from maybe Singapore – to make its hostesses train for hours with a chopstick clamped between their teeth, just so that when they smile, they show 6-8 teeth at a time, and can hold a grin for 10 minutes without flinching?

But, I shouldn’t have any reason to doubt England’s financial ability to host the Olympic Games. Any country that can fork out 400 000 pounds for this seizure-inducing logo:

Shouldn’t have a problem with “matching Beijing’s spectacular Olympic opening ceremony,” eh?

“Sure, we’re bombing the sh*t out of Georgia, but look at the pretty fireworks over there!”
- What the Russian president might have said as he attended the Olympics opening ceremony.

Updated: I just found out from Jeffrey – who, at the moment, is on a ROLL with his countryIES-bashing – that the fireworks were fake. Well, if creating special effects is the order of the day, at least we know the advertising campaign for the London 2012 logo is off to a smashing start.

Bakun natives lodge report against Sarawak Land and Survey Department.

- The Star.

“Woe to those who plan iniquity,
to those who plot evil on their beds!
At morning’s light they carry it out
because it is in their power to do it.

They covet fields and seize them,
and houses, and take them.
They defraud a man of his home,
a fellowman of his inheritance.”

- Micah 2: 1-2.

Just curious, how do you go home & sleep at night, knowing you’ve made whole families homeless?

What kind of state do I hail from, that the PEOPLE-APPOINTED government can’t be trusted to take care of them, and abuses its power for a dam that has yet to be finished after more than a DECADE?

GIVE UP THAT DAM, ALREADY, WILLYA? You don’t need to have grown up in Sarawak tribal culture to know the damned thing is cursed.

- Dam & damned. See what I did there? –

And don’t give me that, “Oh, we received directives from Kuching headquarters.” You can’t tell me that there is no way of reaching a compromise on this issue, like, I don’t know, NOT ENCROACHING ON NATIVE LAND? Maybe, actually adhering to the customary rights of people native to the Sarawak? Or, making sure that they have suitable accommodation which they can move into BEFORE destroying their homes willy-nilly??

Seriously, it’s not the seeming brainlessness with which this was done, which granted, is common to most “enforcers” across the country

- Really? TWENTY or FIFTY minutes “doesn’t make a difference”?? Has the concepts of liberty or justice, or heck, even MATH, occurred to you in the past DECADES you’ve been working as a LAW-ENFORCER?? -

which is driving me up the wall.

It’s the lack of COMPASSION. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you, and all that jazz.

Seriously, guys, you don’t have to have a degree in medicine to be compassionate, y’know. Though, a degree of common sense would probably be helpful.

Then again, for all my ranting, maybe part of the reason for the vehemence of my anger stems from recognising that before, I, too, practised such blind efficiency, such stupidity. That I, too, was capable of being that unthinking, that dismissive of other people’s problems, situations, feelings, when I had an agenda to tackle.

Until working in the system here turned me into a softie taught me compassion. If not for anything else, I am grateful to the UK for that.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still trying to be efficient. And I can still be ruthless. I just hope my actions are tempered with a bit more consideration now. And please, that I’m a lot less stupid about things.

i am back in southampton, and hating every minute of it.

i regret coming to this f*cking university. this place frustrates me no-end.

never mind education i get here is sh*t.

- i did my elective in seremban, and my batchmates already know sh*tloads about prescribing, and management, and hell, any number of f*cking diseases, whereas i know JACK. J.A.C.K. and we were all previously from the same d*mned year! –

the thing that f*cking gets to me, is that i chose this f*cking university because i thought
1) it was warm

- f*ck THAT! maybe for 3 months at a time, when we’re indoors, anyway, needlessly swotting for an examination on MRSA, and pointless sh*t like that –

2) it was by the sea

- uh-huh, “Southampton & the Sea”, the same way KL is by the sea, f*cking liars –

and 3) because it had a debate society.

i come here, and it turns out i, the english-as-a-second-language speaker from malaysia, am the current best-speaker. right, i’m annoyed enough, because it means i still don’t get to improve, ‘cos there’s no-one better, and i’ve to be the f*cking COACH. AGAIN.

- and never mind the fact that the blogpost intimidated people in the debate society:
f*ck you, all, OK, just because you don’t take debate seriously, and i scare you; i’m not about to tone down my blogposts for YOU dumbf*cks, of all people –

- and never mind the fact that my juniors have broken twice in AUDC now, and probably, MOST LIKELY, debate better than i do. it is so f*cking EMBARASSING to go back, and have these people accord you worship for being debate goddess, which you know you as hell don’t deserve, ‘cos you debate like sh*t now, thank you southampton –

i finally find a partner, who’s as crazy about debating, competing & winning as i am, and who, thank goodness, i get along with really well. we’re all set to rock the world; or at least, the british & european debating circuit and F*CKING WORLDS 2008 IN THAILAND, BABY! when sh*t happens, the way it usually does, and she can’t come with me to thailand.

fine, that i understand, ‘cos i know under any other circumstance, she’d love to go, but what i f*cking don’t understand, is that now her place is vacant…

NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO GO.

what, you’re telling me that ONE DEBATE SOCIETY, in a BRITISH UNIVERSITY, OK, and there’re only TWO PEOPLE WHO DEBATE COMPETITIVELY?!?

gee, i dunno what the hell was going through the minds of the other 30-odd members or so when they signed up to join a DEBATE SOCIETY, but you would’ve figured that it would’ve occurred to them that they’re going to have to, i dunno, debate at some point??

i’m f*cking sick of having to cajole people to come for tournaments. i’m f*cking sick of the fact that no one else, besides this one other partner of mine, takes debate seriously enough to train, compete, improve, and debate with me, and because of that, I can’t train, compete & improve.

people ask me why i debate for so long. one reason, ‘cos i’m sad, the other reason, ‘cos for me, it’s all about personal development.

f*ck travelling europe, OK. personal development for me is debating. i debate to get good. i have joined debate societies to get good. represented my university in debate tournaments to get good. yes, even coached debating to get good.

and it’s so frustrating when i come to this place, and nothing i do gets me good. i was not born to stay stagnant. and this lack of personal development is killing me, piece by piece. at the very least, i feel that being part of a society that doesn’t give me that personal development is a waste of my time.

i don’t debate just ‘cos it’s f*cking fun. i debate to get better, so i can f*cking WIN.

and i feel like i don’t owe sh*t to a society that doesn’t provide me with the means of achieving that goal. yea, you give me money to compete, but let’s face it, it’s not a whole lot, and i’ve earned my keep & more coaching. i don’t feel like i should waste anymore time doing something, or being part of something, that i know is not going to get me anywhere. being here is a waste of time, as it is; i might as well waste it on other things, just to get more experience in other fields, since obviously, personal development is nowhere to be found for me in this university.

and you know what? you ask me what my priorities for a university are, and it’s that, personal development. screw education & all. i want to GROW. and while it’s pretty cool to tell people you’re completing your tertiary education in a UK university, i’d give it up in a HEARTBEAT, a HEARTBEAT for any university, ANY university in any part of the world, including a university back home, just so’s i can get my personal development.

just so’s i don’t get frustrated with this system.
just so’s i can work with a catholic group that has a wider repertoire of NEW WORSHIP SONGS, as befits a youth group in a UNIVERSITY, and doesn’t assume i’m half-protestant or evangelical just for introducing something a little more modern.

just so’s i have more partners, who actually want to debate and are half-good at it.

and if you’re wondering at the state of this post, i’m just gutted.
so, so, so GUTTED, that i can’t define how gutted i am, that i’ve been depressed every night of this week, that i can’t go home this christmas the way i’d planned.

i was, and still am, so not psychologically-prepared to have to stay here in this godforsaken place for the next 2 years running without going home at least once to malaysia.